don't want to be a boy today (musictweaker) wrote,
don't want to be a boy today

fuck girls.

how do you let go of someone and yet still know that you love them? i feel so confused about everything. i sit here shaking and crying (everyday action now). coming home and punching the wall leaving tiny little red dots on the wall. i must wash it off soon before anyone sees. when will the pain stop? i should have never started anything. just let it go and walk away. so if you cant tell i have been drinking tonight. got a phone call regarding someone who left me to go fuck other people. i question how long she hasnt loved me for. who the fuck would call someone and rub it in. make me question everything when i was already having trouble with it all. so i must say fuck you. it was probably someone she put up to it. maybe the one that she left me for. so i think that is every girl that i have ever been with to leave me. i have only had 3 big relationships and everything else in between was just fun or fuck. my first girlfriend left me for a guy. the second girl never broke up with her girlfriend as i found out after it was all over (even after we were done she still went back to the other girl and tried to work it out). and now this. the 3rd big relationship she left me for another person. fuck this. why can't i just be straight? i don't get it. why can't my life be easy. really i think i should get one relationship that is easy. that i don't get left. i don't think i ever want to get into another relationship. fuck this. i need more vodka. this just isn't doing it. bye guys my skyy vodka is waiting for me.
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