don't want to be a boy today (musictweaker) wrote,
don't want to be a boy today

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i start tomorrow at 4pm and work till midnight. =) i hope i can stay awake. i am really excited. i got a lot of new things today. i hope they all look ok on me... grandma spent $320 on kris and i am we got about the same thing. mo and sofia and chris got a shirt each but other than that, it was all kris and i. we got a shit load of vhs from grandma. i mean about 300 if not more. i got 4 x-files movies. i saw rae on the way home when we dropped off kris and her and i hugged for about 5 minutes straight. i miss my baby dyke. before we left we traded shirts in the middle of the parking lot. so i am now wearing a batman shirt and she is wearing my fav polo. my black izod one. kayelyn said that she was sorry for yelling at me on the phone. i don't know how i feel about it all yet. i need to talk with rae. i received a text message last night that made me cry more than any other text message has ever before. i was speaking with someone and i was asking her questions and she replied back with if you love someone and let them go and if they return then they are yours forever and if they don't then they weren't yours to begin with. o my god did i cry my eyes out. i don't know how to take that... my first thought was wow... thats mean... but i don't know how to take it. david feels ok.. i only drove part way home and i only started getting sick when trafic got bad. i didn't tell him though... him and i talked when it came time to just him and i... we talked about someone.... well.. 2 people to be exact. i smell like rae. i miss her... i need to see her soon before i go nuts. my baby dyke is getting bigger... she has grown so much. she is a spitting image of me when i was her age. down to gender and sexual orientaion. wow... i miss her.. i miss her falling asleep on my shoulder. she needs to come back to me and i need to go back to her. i guess i should go and take something so i can sleep tonight... i am dying without something. i can't sleep and me being an insomniac is getting worse. i can hardly sleep with aid from pills... my back is still killing me... that long drive didn't help. p.s. i talked with grandma and she said that i (and a few people could stay with her)... he he he

got to go... maybe i can get a back rub out of it...
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